please! hurt me

At first glance, you might think that only a crazy person would ask someone to hurt him. But what if I said that maybe even you ask this of people? Also, what if you do this habitually? In this article, we will discuss how people invite others to hurt them, the psychological side effects of doing so, and the best solutions to this problem. 

We often invite others to hurt us in our regular interactions with them. It is not necessary to ask them to hurt us directly, but it might happen inadvertently when we do things like keep silent, avoid confrontation, or forgive hurtful behavior. Humans have many ways to communicate; sometimes they do not need to hear particular words to understand your behavior. There is a difference between spoken language and inferred meaning. When a friend or loved one does something that bothers you and asks if they did so, you are doing yourself an injustice by responding, “No, it’s okay!” This statement means “No, you can hurt me again”. Another example could be when someone intervenes in your business and you do not like it, but you do not object in any way. Keeping silent sends a message that says, “Please intervene in my business again!” This is the exact meaning of “Please hurt me!” People cannot understand what is in your mind if you do not talk.

What are the psychological effects of these What are the psychological effects of these situations?

It is the repeated action of being treated badly which leads us to ask ourselves questions like “Why does this happen to me?”, “Why don’t people respect me?” and  “Why do people intentionally hurt me?” If these questions resonate with you, that means they are floating around in your unconscious mind. The effect is that you end up feeling badly about yourself and they can potentially lower your self esteem. If you are a parent or caregiver, it is also important to consider the fact that children learn by example. So when you allow others to hurt you, it is possible that your kids will learn to allow others to hurt them, too.

How can I stop letting people hurt me? or how to respond to the silent treatment?

If you asked yourself this question while you were reading situations? it means you are ready to protect yourself. Congratulations! The first step is to start watching your behavior when these potentially hurtful interactions occur. Second, try to remove your bias as you think about some of the previous situations in which you have gotten hurt.  Then ask yourself “What are the messages I inadvertently send to others which make them believe that they can do whatever they want to me?” It can also help to develop skills that boost your new outlook; to start it is important to learn how to say no and to stop condoning behavior that hurts you.

“Whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can’t ride your back unless it is bent.” ― Martin Luther King Jr

This phenomenon does not occur spontaneously, it runs deeper than we may be aware of. The ideas above have been presented to encourage you to stop this injustice and ensure that no one can hurt you without your permission.

to read this article in Arabic click here

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